Re-Thinking Church: Mar 23, 2018
Ugh! Church (to me) is such a churchy word.
The older I get, the more I don’t like sounding so “churchy”. Several years ago I had done everything but said out loud that I was giving up on organized church. Boy! Does God have a sense of humor? I was hurt. I was broken. My heart was calloused. There were so many things I didn’t like. I could only see the worst in people. I went through a season of being angry with God. I. NEEDED. HELP. But in my mind, the church was the problem, not me. I was so tired of it all. The church lingo, the familiar routine, and the hypocrisy. Ouch. I’m appalled to admit these things now. God was closer than I realized. How merciful and patient He was during that time. You see some of us are so broken we can’t see that far outside of ourselves. To look at my (then) present condition and think, “Man, I’m messed up. I better get myself some help” was just too mature a thought. Most of us have to hit rock bottom. Most of us have to find ourselves in the desert with no water or on empty with no fuel in sight. And that place, that bottom of the barrel, pitiful place…is a great and terrifying grace. It’s in this place that God can reposition our hearts and make us willing, again.
When Cam and I started taking the steps toward church planting, I had so many fears surface. Will I have to sacrifice my family for ministry? What if we give our lives away and get nothing in return? What if people reject us and mock us? Can we do this? Are we capable of handling this and raising a big family? I hate to admit this, but I may have given my husband more resistance than anyone or anything else. It was hard to take this leap, even harder to do it with a willful and joyful and supportive spirit. As God dealt tenderly with my heart (and my sweet husband, also) we said yes, moved forward, and are continuing on this journey.
When we started doing ‘church,’ we were just meeting at home on Tuesday nights. Our group was odd compared to normal standards. We had people from every walk and age of life you could imagine. Some people came with legalistic mentalities, LGBT, former atheist, covered in tattoos, and older people with troubles adjusting to the new age of the church. People came that had been raised in the south, some had Quaker roots; the list goes on and on. But the one thing we all had in common, was meeting every week was changing us. Matter of fact, for some of us, it was saving our lives. Coming together and engaging in community was transforming us, keeping us more encouraged than ever. You see; being loved by Jesus and His people will rearrange your spiritual DNA, that’s a fact. And it was happening.
Have you given up on church? Have you turned away because you don’t want to pretend and crave authenticity? Are you without hope because of past experiences with church and church people?
God beckons us to try over and over and over again. Through the good weeks and through the bad weeks. Through the powerful, life changing, incredible move of God weeks and then through the busy, painful, hurts-to-breath, nothing-is-working-right-then-my-car-breaks-down kind of weeks. That’s why we swim against the current. That’s why we wait even when it looks like nothing’s going to happen. That’s why we love the ones people give up on. That’s why we invest in people’s lives even though they may never change. That’s why we keep facing rejection. That’s why we keep rowing even when the waves are against us. That’s why we choose the hard work of staying in community even when we disagree. That’s why when our bodies are exhausted and our egos get bruised, and offense knocks on our door…we keep going because we want to be in the right spot, at the right time when Jesus shows up. But the most beautiful thing isn’t just the part when He shows up…but when we keep going anyways. It’s where we decide to keep going even though we’re weary. When we choose to believe even though we’re afraid nothing is going to happen. When all we can think about is all the things we’ve tried and failed at before. It’s where we’re in the position for when Jesus does surprise us…we…are…ready.
I want to close by sharing a portion of a recent post by author Jen Hatmaker, which actually inspired me to write this blog.
“Listen, church is the most imperfect thing I can think of. It is. It can wound as much as it heals, and it sometimes shuts its doors when Jesus bids us “go to the street corners and invite anyone you can find.”
It gets much wrong because people lead it and we are a historic mess.
But if we can take the idea of “church” out of its weird, fancy, western context, out of the realm of entertainment, off the pedestal of perfect leaders and shiny living, away from the barely disguised goal of self-help, apart from the evil of protected hierarchy and exclusionary doctrines, and bring it all down to the ground, into the streets, around the table, and to its knees, church can be the most healing, life transformative place to meet the real Jesus…the one who loves us all and upended power structures and valued every out-casted person made in His image.
Church and Christians can so strangely keep us from Jesus, but if you find a faith community that feels like the gospels and sticks together even though their leaders are just medium people and stuff goes sideways…that messy, kind of lame, ragged bunch of folks just might save your life, too.”
You see, community is His plan. His brilliantly, carefully crafted design to provide a home for us, no matter what biological cards we’re dealt. May God grant us the courage to commit, and to believe in church, once again.
Author: Stephanie Jackson
The older I get, the more I don’t like sounding so “churchy”. Several years ago I had done everything but said out loud that I was giving up on organized church. Boy! Does God have a sense of humor? I was hurt. I was broken. My heart was calloused. There were so many things I didn’t like. I could only see the worst in people. I went through a season of being angry with God. I. NEEDED. HELP. But in my mind, the church was the problem, not me. I was so tired of it all. The church lingo, the familiar routine, and the hypocrisy. Ouch. I’m appalled to admit these things now. God was closer than I realized. How merciful and patient He was during that time. You see some of us are so broken we can’t see that far outside of ourselves. To look at my (then) present condition and think, “Man, I’m messed up. I better get myself some help” was just too mature a thought. Most of us have to hit rock bottom. Most of us have to find ourselves in the desert with no water or on empty with no fuel in sight. And that place, that bottom of the barrel, pitiful place…is a great and terrifying grace. It’s in this place that God can reposition our hearts and make us willing, again.
When Cam and I started taking the steps toward church planting, I had so many fears surface. Will I have to sacrifice my family for ministry? What if we give our lives away and get nothing in return? What if people reject us and mock us? Can we do this? Are we capable of handling this and raising a big family? I hate to admit this, but I may have given my husband more resistance than anyone or anything else. It was hard to take this leap, even harder to do it with a willful and joyful and supportive spirit. As God dealt tenderly with my heart (and my sweet husband, also) we said yes, moved forward, and are continuing on this journey.
When we started doing ‘church,’ we were just meeting at home on Tuesday nights. Our group was odd compared to normal standards. We had people from every walk and age of life you could imagine. Some people came with legalistic mentalities, LGBT, former atheist, covered in tattoos, and older people with troubles adjusting to the new age of the church. People came that had been raised in the south, some had Quaker roots; the list goes on and on. But the one thing we all had in common, was meeting every week was changing us. Matter of fact, for some of us, it was saving our lives. Coming together and engaging in community was transforming us, keeping us more encouraged than ever. You see; being loved by Jesus and His people will rearrange your spiritual DNA, that’s a fact. And it was happening.
Have you given up on church? Have you turned away because you don’t want to pretend and crave authenticity? Are you without hope because of past experiences with church and church people?
God beckons us to try over and over and over again. Through the good weeks and through the bad weeks. Through the powerful, life changing, incredible move of God weeks and then through the busy, painful, hurts-to-breath, nothing-is-working-right-then-my-car-breaks-down kind of weeks. That’s why we swim against the current. That’s why we wait even when it looks like nothing’s going to happen. That’s why we love the ones people give up on. That’s why we invest in people’s lives even though they may never change. That’s why we keep facing rejection. That’s why we keep rowing even when the waves are against us. That’s why we choose the hard work of staying in community even when we disagree. That’s why when our bodies are exhausted and our egos get bruised, and offense knocks on our door…we keep going because we want to be in the right spot, at the right time when Jesus shows up. But the most beautiful thing isn’t just the part when He shows up…but when we keep going anyways. It’s where we decide to keep going even though we’re weary. When we choose to believe even though we’re afraid nothing is going to happen. When all we can think about is all the things we’ve tried and failed at before. It’s where we’re in the position for when Jesus does surprise us…we…are…ready.
I want to close by sharing a portion of a recent post by author Jen Hatmaker, which actually inspired me to write this blog.
“Listen, church is the most imperfect thing I can think of. It is. It can wound as much as it heals, and it sometimes shuts its doors when Jesus bids us “go to the street corners and invite anyone you can find.”
It gets much wrong because people lead it and we are a historic mess.
But if we can take the idea of “church” out of its weird, fancy, western context, out of the realm of entertainment, off the pedestal of perfect leaders and shiny living, away from the barely disguised goal of self-help, apart from the evil of protected hierarchy and exclusionary doctrines, and bring it all down to the ground, into the streets, around the table, and to its knees, church can be the most healing, life transformative place to meet the real Jesus…the one who loves us all and upended power structures and valued every out-casted person made in His image.
Church and Christians can so strangely keep us from Jesus, but if you find a faith community that feels like the gospels and sticks together even though their leaders are just medium people and stuff goes sideways…that messy, kind of lame, ragged bunch of folks just might save your life, too.”
You see, community is His plan. His brilliantly, carefully crafted design to provide a home for us, no matter what biological cards we’re dealt. May God grant us the courage to commit, and to believe in church, once again.
Author: Stephanie Jackson
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