A Tribute to Carmelo: May 9, 2018

Cam and I got back from Arizona on Sunday, April 29th. It was such a blessing to have a team in place to make sure everything ran smoothly. As Cam previously mentioned, it’s common in church plants for everything to fall on just 1 or 2 people. So, we consider it a high honor to have so many willing members to help in all the ways you do. We don’t take you for granted.
We just finished a series called Be Still and Know. It was a great 4-part sermon highlighting Trust, Rest, Waiting, & Faith. Myself and Jordan taught the last 2 parts of this series. It was a treat to hear from others and also nice for Pastor Cam to be able to sit down for a couple weeks. Last Sunday, we started a new series called Order My Steps. Pastor Cam is back to teach this one, and we’re looking forward to the rest of it.

As a church still in our first year, we’re learning and experiencing a lot together for the first time. In the early morning hours of April 22nd, Carmelo Casanova fell asleep, and woke up face to face with Jesus. He was a precious and spunky 12-year-old boy who waited 9 months on the heart transplant list in hopes to receive a new one, and we loved him as our very own. We were always so in awe of Carlos & Elena. Carmelo’s parents gave him the best 12 years any child could ask for. They’re dedicated parents and some of the best people we know. They had a resolve about them that was totally inspiring. They faced each challenge together, and never left his side. They also had the best support system any two people could wish for. We have much to learn from their entire extended family. They’ve exemplified valuable lessons in love and togetherness. We’re so grateful Carlos and Elena have their friends and family. We’re so thankful they never felt alone. Casanovas & family, as your lives shift into the next chapter, we wish more than anything to bless and support you all. You deserve all the time and space you need for as long as you need it. You get to wrestle without judgement or shame. You never have to worry or fret about how you present yourselves to the world. You are safe. And you are loved.

To our 316 family, if you can give financially, please consider doing so. If you can encourage, please do! If you pray, keep up the good work! If you can help meet practical needs, jump on their meal train rotation and provide a hot meal. Thank you, 316, for all you’ve done and continue to do. You all truly wrapped your arms around Carmelo and his family. Time and time again I was humbled by how deeply connected so many of you were to him. Frequent calls and texts came in about his well-being. You’ve been committed in prayer and giving. Every week, as we shared updates and pictures, a deep bond was developing and it was beautiful. We, as a congregation, learned of his passing just moments before service started that Sunday morning. What followed was something we’ve never experienced before. Such a consuming wave of grief came over the entire place and the whole church just stopped to hold each other and weep. We had all invested so much faith into his healing. We confidently stood in agreement with his parents for a miracle. It felt like a defeating blow, and a sting like no other. As we mourned among friends and for our friends, Cam and I were absolutely filled with a deep reverence and respect for this church family. We’ve loved Carlos & Elena for 15 years, but you had only known of them for several months. The love you felt for them was palpable. I didn’t know people could love that sincerely, that genuinely. I didn’t know that kind of love existed in the world. It was a revelation. Tears flow as I write this, the power of that revelation has been life altering. And we love you all more because of it. Thank you seems too weak of an expression to describe our gratitude for each one of you.

Personally, I’ve never grieved any loss like this one. Just a few days after the passing of Carmelo, Cam and I had to leave for Arizona to celebrate the wedding of our dear friends. I had never experienced being so torn. Of course, I wanted to go. But I didn’t want to go. My heart was bound to the Casanova’s. The pain was overwhelming. We had been looking forward to this trip for a year. Our teenage girls were going with us and it was going to be the first 4 days ever, spent between just the four of us. No interruptions from younger siblings, no other distractions. Just mom, dad and the big girls. We all needed it, and were so thankful for the opportunity. But it was suddenly so hard to go. About 24 hours after arriving in Tucson, Cam gently asked me if I could try to be more present with them. I didn’t realize how consuming the grief was. This is a brand-new lesson for me. In my love and compassion, I wanted to make this all better for my friends. And even though I know I don’t have the power to do that, my impulses were getting the best of me. I wasn’t completely prepared for what God told me the second day of our trip…”Let Go. Let go and trust Me, I’m big enough to hold them.” In all of the dark places I’ve been, this seemed to be the hardest thing to trust Him with yet. I was really wrestling myself. I was disappointed and angry, so many things. This is so hard to understand. Yes, I know all the comforting scriptures. And I even believed my theology to be really solid. But this was still hard to understand. When He whispered again, “Let Go,” it came like a sudden relief. He revealed in an instant how tightly I was holding on, without the power to produce any results. And in one big, beautiful moment, I remembered, He. Is. Good. He doesn’t operate outside of goodness. Nothing had ever rocked this foundation I stood on before quite like this. I’m trying Lord…we’re all trying. But thank you, thank you, thank you for reminding me of your goodness.

We left for St Louis to visit Carmelo and his parents on the Friday before his passing. My mother, Julie, stopped with Cam and I to pray for Carmelo and for safe travels before we got on the road. The minute she began praying I immediately saw a vision. Jesus was standing over Carmelo. He was massaging and rubbing His heart, working on it with His very own hands. He was enthusiastic as He concentrated on what He was doing. After what seemed like a few minutes, He lifted Carmelo’s heart out of his chest and extended it as far into the sky that His hand could hold. Carmelo’s heart turned from a heart of flesh into a heart of gold, and it immediately began to illuminate. Carmelo’s heart shined so brightly, you couldn’t even look upon it. As we finished praying I was so thankful for this picture. After months of praying and trusting, I finally had something I could hold on to and was so encouraged in my spirit. As I think about that vision now, I’m wrecked by the kindness of God. The way He chooses to communicate with us is wrapped in so much love and marked with goodness. Although my own understanding fails me, I can rest in His goodness. And I’m convinced that’s a good enough starting point.

Oh sweet Melo, we thank you and honor you for your courage and bravery. Your life was a shining gift and you taught us valuable lessons we desperately needed. In your weakness you exuded strength. You fought like a champion your whole entire life. We, with your parents, find comfort and celebrate your freedom and the joy you’re saturated in. You deserve the Kingdom, and now it’s yours. We love you now and forever, and can’t wait to spend eternity with you.

Carmelo Brentlee Casanova
6/9/2005-4/22/18

Author: Stephanie Jackson

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